I'm tired. And for the past few weeks...I've been tired. I'm so tired I can't sleep sometimes. I have a prescription but I don't like taking it because I feel funny in the morning- like I had an angry sleep or something. So Instead, I try to meditate and clear my mind as much as possible of the usual things I think about before bed:
1. Work.
2. School.
3. Homework I haven't done yet.
4. Homework I did do, but probably not well enough so I should look it over before class.
5. I'm going to have to get up sooo early, what if I sleep through my alarm?
6. Shoot, I have to pay this bill.
7. Crap, I have to clean the litter box in the morning.
8. Did I brush my teeth?
9. Do I have to go to the bathroom?
10. Why can't I stop thinking?!
Meditating does work- for the most part. But sometimes I'm just so...flustered..that I can't fall asleep and it takes me hours.
I wake up the next day feeling like...it took me hours to fall asleep.
This is my normal weekly schedule:
Monday: up @ 730.
Cleaning day!
Mop, dust, vacuum, clean up and straighten for the upcoming week.
Any leftover time: Homework.
3-11: Work.
1145: Return from work. Yes, I drive 45 minutes.
Tuesday: up @ 530.
School day!
Classes 8-5, no breaks in between.
Home. Homework. Perhaps a Bruins game or a movie. Tuesday is usually take-out night. I'm too tired for anything else.
Wednesday: up @ 730.
Barn by 9, Home by 11, workout, homework.
3-11: work.
1145: Return from work.
Thursday: up @ 530.
School day!
8-2 today. No breaks.
Home, workout, homework, Girl's Night. Usually consisting of wine & yummies with my favorite ladies.
Friday: up @ 730.
Barn by 9, home by 1130-12, (no work today!)
Laundry day, tidy up, think of dinner plans, perhaps bake a banana bread. Work out.
There are days that I may pick up a shift- usually Friday or Saturday morning is my weekly extra day. 32 hours a week-ish with work, classes + the insane amount of work this college soon-to-be-grad has to do for classes..= exhausted Janelle.
My professor told me yesterday that I looked "run down." Thanks, professor. I feel run down. My boyfriend told me, "well, yes, you've been looking tired for months now. Not a bad thing. You just need rest."
I was in a seminar/workshop yesterday and couldn't stop nodding my head during the presentation. I'm embarrassed. The poor woman was probably so offended by my rudeness.
I decided to look up the symptoms of fatigue:
I know you're not supposed to believe everything you read on the 'net, but...here's what I found:
E-Medicine Health said:
weakness,
lack of energy
constantly tired or exhausted,
lack of motivation,
difficulty concentrating, and/or difficulty starting and completing tasks,
rapid heartbeat (palpatations),
dizziness,
vertigo
and WebMD said:
Chronic Fatigue symptoms include:
sleep problems,
difficulty concentrating and thinking clearly,
memory problems,
fever,
headaches,
muscle & joint pain,
sore throat,
tender glands in the neck or armpits.
I'm going to get on a big soapbox right now. So forgive me. But, KNOW THE SIGNS, people! Just reading these two websites, I've got almost all of those symptoms and honestly, I'm considering a Doctor's visit.
Life is hard. Life with school, work, & extra responsibilities is harder. I'm not saying that if you don't have a job you can't be fatigued. Or if you don't go to school you can't be fatigued. But...what I AM saying, is that you need to spend as much time as you can listening to your body. Slowing down when it tells you to. Fixing your priorities list so that you are the number one "thing" you need to worry about.
Read a book. Meditate. Do yoga. Work out. Start doing things for you, because you're going to wake up one day and not be able to get out of bed. And then you're going to spend two days in bed, and then you're going to get out of bed and still feel exhausted after that for another week. And you'll be writing a blog post about it and you'll be thinking...wait, I'm STILL exhausted.
Physical health & Mental health, people. Both are important for your well-being.
I don't know when my own personal schedule will change for good. It will probably be in May when I graduate from college with a bachelor's degree. But I do know that I need to make some immediate changes soon or I am not going to be healthy for one of my best friend's wedding, my summer, horse show season, applying for full-time jobs, interviews, or life in general.
Going to enjoy the beautiful New England weather with the dogs I'm taking care of, now. Putting on my running sneakers and moving around. You know why? Because I want to. It makes me feel better. And this is my new goal. Feel better.
Only doing what's important for a little while...and hoping you do the same.
xo- me
I hear you Janelle!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're looking into what could be wrong and you're trying to fix it. Something as simple as feeling happy can make such a HUGE difference. Your schedule is really intense and I'm not surprised that you're feeling super tired!
I went to the docs & got my blood tested. No abnormalities. I knew what was bugging me, but I was afraid to admit it or to make the decision that I knew I had to stop with my studies (long story). I was mentally & physically drained.
I did in the end, as my health got worse! Now I'm a full time illustrator, setting up my own business. I feeling much happier, still not easy, but I'm happier. And feeling happier and doing what I want to do really helps in getting less tired or sick. You do need time though (yes I was kinda silly to expect things would get better just like that hehe) I still have the occasional headaches and days that I'm really tired, but at least now I can count them, because I feel pretty good for the majority of the time. Last year I could count the days that I felt healthy.
Take good care of yourself okay!!
Xoxo
I would get a blood panel done, check your Vitamin D/iron levels! You must be exhausted my dear...yikes.
ReplyDeleteDo you take any vitamins?
Definitely get some labs drawn if you can!
ReplyDeleteYou might also want to look into the fact that you could have anxiety/depression and that will make you tired and not be able to "turn off" at night.
Your dr should be able to help you out!
You need to set priorities and take more time for yourself. Don't feel guilty about taking a nap, or a long bath, or getting a massage-whatever helps you to relax. Crazy to drive yourself like that-it's not worth it. Try to remember that your health and well-being are the most important things. More important than any goal or accomplishment. Start developing the habit of taking life easy. Take lots of little breaks, do things slowly, think less-your body will thank you for it.
ReplyDelete